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Love yourself even though you aren’t perfect!  Develop the goal of learning to make ongoing changes to maintain a sense of balance in order to become a happier, more successful person.

Excerpt

Attitude of Gratitude

Who said life gets easier as you get older? As I was celebrating birthdays and maturing,it would have made sense for me to use all my skills to achieve an easier, more prosperous life. The truth is that life is tough, really tough. When I was in college, Mom would quite often say, “Life is tuff, T-U-F-F.” Dad said life has its ups and downs. No matter how you spell it, life is T-U-F-F.

Children are told to change their attitude, as though that was the magical way to solve problems. Children don’t know the meaning of such an abstract idea. Many adults don’t know what it means to change their attitude, let alone how to make those changes.

Attitude is perspective, so the purposeful changing of your point of view will change your attitude. As an only child, I went with the flow of life as it was delivered. Perhaps siblings would have made a difference. I don’t know. I thought my attitude was mature, just like the adults in my daily life.

Some adults told me I was too negative. I guess they thought it would help to change my attitude if they continued to criticize me. I took it as disapproval and reprimand, reinforcing my feelings of inferiority.

Now I wish I had asked them exactly what they wanted me to do. I thought it must be true, I must be extremely negative. Looking for the up side, the positive side, the happy side, became a fundamental goal. If only I could change my attitude, I would have the good life! I would be so grateful to be a happy, up-beat person. What is an attitude and how do I change mine? I wanted to be perfect — for others.

Problems are opportunities! That’s how we learn our greatest lessons, get on the course to make changes, and mature. When I look back at the opportunities my problems have handed to me, I can see how I developed into the person I am now.

Eventually, I came to understand the difference between being negative versus being positive. It’s an inside job, which gives feelings of satisfaction or discontent. Today is the most positive I’ve ever been in my life. I do look for the smiling approach to everything, from everyone. I’m grateful every time I recognize the optimism in my life.

Changing to a more optimistic attitude has led me along the path to improving my self-esteem, enhancing my confidence, appreciating the good things in life, along with complimenting others and myself. I’m letting others know the unique me by making a constant effort to be true to myself.

Sometimes, peers don’t like it, but as long as I’m being true to myself and not hurting anyone, I intend to stop worrying about what others think about me. How far along the path are you to gaining self-esteem? How do you feel about making changes?

Because of their many responsibilities, adults have worries with serious talks. Children have fun, play, giggle, and laugh. During my childhood, I was surrounded and influenced by adults with their hush, hush conversations, and serious talks about solving problems. I heard them talking, but I never involved myself in their discussions, unless they wanted me to do something for the family. I would stay with my grandmother, Little Bubbie, take her to the doctor, or do other things for the family. These experiences taught me to be a caring and giving person in an adult, responsible manner.

Silver sages know all about attitudes from the people in their lives. I’ve been on the receiving end of an inconsiderate attitude where I wanted to get physically violent with the offender. That is my polite way of saying I wanted to punch his lights out! When I was growing up in Pittsburgh, Pa. I learned to accept boundaries! No physical fighting!

Work was being done in my townhouse complex to tear down the thirty year old, wooden patio fences to replace them with a beige cement concoction. During the process, construction workers dug up half of my patio bricks, piling them in a corner. The bricks were never returned to their original positions. The property manager was insensitive to my plight until I lost patience with him. I insisted upon setting up a face-to-face meeting at my house. During the meeting on my patio, I held firm, relating how I had waited for the promised solution for six months. Will the patio be returned to its original condition this week or next? He took a deep breath, saying he would arrange for it to be fixed the next week. I asked if he was a man of his word. With head bowed, he softly said, “We will see.”

What a clear, obvious answer! The patio was finally restored after three more weeks of confrontations. The property manager never did change his attitude; he was not a man of his word. The townhouse management company was replaced the following year due to constant complaints from homeowners. I’m so grateful I don’t have to deal with that company anymore!

I was under-employed for years, working in an office where one of my co-workers was the obvious favorite. My resentment grew as I saw my high level of experiences and qualifications were not appreciated. I was torn between wanting to be friends with my co-worker and resenting her elevated approval by the head of the company. I’m grateful I maintained a cooperative attitude while keeping my patience. After several years, my persistence paid off. It did improve the daily routine in the office atmosphere. I’m thankful it worked out that my kindness succeeded; by the same token, I was able to be true to the real me.

Persistence is a tough struggle, however it can bring rewards. My life story unfolded with my being a giving person, but when I was out of step with the dynamics at work, fate took over to force me out, to go on my way to more and better opportunities. What does that mean? I was downsized out of the job!

Learning never ends. No matter how much we know, there is always more to learn, especially as our society and technology continue to make enormous progress. It is important to keep up with the modern times. Learning something new every day is exciting. When contemplating buying anything new, like a microwave or computer, I’m grateful to be able to search the Internet to compare styles with prices. The computer has made my life so much easier than when I shopped store to store for the best deal. Today, it would be too exhausting for me to go to several stores to shop.

If you don’t use a computer, be grateful you have the background and experiences that taught you how to get things done without a computer. If you can learn to use the computer, go for it! It’s the most rewarding brain exercise ever invented, especially to keep senior minds active and alive.

So much to learn, so little time! Take every opportunity to show an attitude of gratitude!

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow!

A Gratitude Journal:

A gratitude journal is a problem-solving tool to clarify thoughts, to enable us to express feelings. A gratitude journal helps me feel more appreciative of my life. Some people like fancy, leather bound books, others, yellow legal pads or notebook paper. My favorite is the very convenient computer.

Similar to writing in a private diary as children do, every night I write down three to five positive happenings from the day that made me feel cheerful and appreciate the day. By ending the day on such a positive note, I wake up feeling optimistic to enable me to look forward to a bright new day.

Here are a couple of lines for you to practice for tonight’s gratitude experience. Create your own style with your own words. This is a starting place for your personal, private journal.

I am grateful for:

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Read more about Aging Is A Full Time Job and Marcia Casar Friedman HERE.

Copyright 2010 Marcia Casar Friedman. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.