I’m not one to sit around and wait for something to happen. I wanted a man.
Excerpt
Introduction
As you read the following depictions of my dating experiences I hope you recognize my determination to maintain my self respect and high standards in a relationship as well as find some humor in any situation. The men I dated were all nice enough guys, I just took the opportunity to make light of their idiosyncrasies and things that happened in our relationship and certainly do not mean to be cruel in any way. Just as they might make light of my idiosyncrasies and probably already have. Maybe it is a means of survival after going through two divorces. The advisory committee calls it therapy. I would also like to add that I am not a racist, nor do I have anything against Italians, Germans or gay people. Once again I am only making light of things..
The Advisory Committee
I have a lot of family and friends who care about me and consulted some of them on a regular basis. You can call it brainstorming. These family members and friends came to be known as “The Advisory Committee” and are listed here so that as you are reading you will have an idea of who I am referring to.
Mom, my mom
Dad, my dad
Donna, sister-in-law, Chris’s wife
Chris, younger brother
Renie, sister
Bebe, sister-in-law, my ex’s brother’s wife
Lori, neighbor that I walk with
Deb, friend from British Columbia
Betty, first cousin on mom’s side
Karen, first cousin on dad’s side
Mary Margaret, neighbor who sits and reads on her porch
Mary, friend from Czechoslovakia who will beat me with a wooden spoon if I do anything stupid while dating
This book is dedicated to them and all the patience they had (and will hopefully continue to have) while listening to my experiences. Thanks for all the advice despite knowing that although I listened I was still going to do what I wanted in the end. At least you have the satisfaction in many cases of saying “I told you so!”
Basics
I am a: 51-year-old woman
Looking for: 50 to 58-year-old man
Relationships: Divorced
My ethnicity: White/Caucasian
Height: 5′3
About me and who I would like to date
I would describe myself as adventurous and fun loving, candid and down to earth. I have a very positive attitude and a lot of interests which keep me busy. When it’s time to relax I enjoy playing my guitar, watching a movie or reading. My family and friends are very important to me. I enjoy the company of others and doing things that are fun (love to laugh and make others laugh). I am health conscious and keep myself in good shape (enjoy long walks and spending time outdoors). Who would I like to date? Someone who knows how to enjoy the simple things in life and have fun; someone who likes to travel and try new things; a positive attitude and sense of humor would be great! If I meet that “special” someone I would be interested in a long-term/committed relationship.
For fun I like to
Go out with family, friends or someone special to do just about anything that’s fun (movie, boating, mini-golf, fishing, shoot pool, shuffleboard, etc). Just spending time at home with someone special can also be a lot of fun.
Favorite things
Snuggling up with someone special in front of the fireplace on a snowy day. Working in the yard/gardening, crafts, playing guitar, cooking, boating and fishing, and playing horseshoes.
Lifestyle
Exercise habits: exercise regularly
Smoke: no way
Drink: social drinker, maybe one or two
I live: alone
Kids: none
Chapter 1 The Catalyst
Did you hear that I got divorced? Those were words that I was getting used to saying. Well, it happened last spring. I found my husband with his hands on another woman for the second time.
A friend of ours had invited a girlfriend of his down from Canada and when she got here he decided that he didn’t want to have anything to do with her and locked her out of his house. I felt bad for her and invited her to stay at my house until her flight back to Canada. She was a nice enough girl and we got along fine. She also got along fine with my husband.
In fact, the first day she arrived we ordered pizza and my husband insisted that I stay home with his friend while he and this girl went to pick up the pizza. Two hours later they got back … the pizza place is only 10 minutes away. The minute his foot stepped through the doorway the first words out of his mouth were, “You won’t believe what happened.” The first thing I thought was “LIE!”
He spent the next few days watching her like a hound and fussing over her and making her drinks. On Sunday afternoon the two of them sat on the sofa and watched the NASCAR race. He was explaining in detail how the race was run. Usually he just sat there like a blob and couldn’t even carry on a conversation while watching the TV.
Actually, there was a joke about that. Earlier that spring I bought a new mattress for the futon sofa in the living room. The mattress was guaranteed, for 10 years, not to become indented even if a person sat in the same spot for 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I mentioned this to friends and family members. The response was always the same, “Well, we know who’s going to put it to the test!”
At one point I walked through the kitchen and noticed that he was making “two” Bloody Marys. He never offered to make me a Bloody Mary in the years that we had been together.
He said, “Oh … would you like a Bloody Mary?”
I just gave him a look and said, “No thanks.”
The whole time he was doting on her and making stupid jokes and trying to be charming; I was thinking, “What an ass.”
Finally, it was the last night our little friend was to be staying with us. I went across the street to get a flyer from the newspaper that my neighbor, Lori, had saved for me. When I got there she was on the phone, so she just handed it to me. Normally I would probably be over there for awhile talking to her. Well, I was only gone for four or five minutes when I came back and the two of them were no longer sitting in the living room watching the race. I walked to the top of the steps and looked down into the basement. There she was sitting at the bar with her elbows on the top of the bar and he was behind her with her shirt pushed up, caressing her sides.
Let me just say, I had an “out of body” experience. I kicked her out that night and him the next day. He had pulled that stunt once before about three years before with another woman and I told him if it happened again I would divorce him … so I did.
Needless to say divorce is not a pleasant experience. I had sent out invitations to my annual “Cinco de Mayo” party a couple of weeks before this all happened and had to call everyone and let them know the party was off. If I got their answering machine I just left a message: “Hi, it’s Annie. I’m calling to let you know that I have to cancel my party because I caught my husband with his hands on another woman and I’m divorcing him. Give me a call when you get a chance.”
Hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, and for me it was time to move on. And so I was catapulted into the dating scene at the age of 51. Little did I know what I was in for!
Copyright 2008 Annie Earley. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.
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