This personal collection of poetic verse is at once inspiring and challenging. Beginning with the loss of her mother at age nine, Sonya began collecting her thoughts in 40 poems in a diary from early childhood through her twenties.
Excerpt
GOD IS STRANGE TO ME
God is Strange to Me
I turn my head…Listen?
I hear him calling me
Do I answer Him?
An example, I will be
Guiding those who need
Sacrificing me
God, what is your plan?
I will be empty
Am I your prophet?
Am I your poet?
Am I your ever-suffering servant?
Filled with unfinished dreams.
MOTHER DEAR
(Oh mother dear, I miss you like never before)
Where are your warm hugs?
Have they cracked and wilted in your empty arms
Where are your sweet smiles?
Have they dried and shriveled on your cold lips
Where are your funny jokes?
Have they turned to dust and lay at your feet
To whom will comfort me?
To whom will dry my tears?
To whom will I lay my head,
When no one else is near?
(Oh mother dear, I need you more than ever)
Where have you been?
Have you finally been laid to rest
Where are you now?
Are you flying high with the angels? OR
Are you down in the deep dark well?
FORGIVE ME
Turn your burning eyes away
You’re wilting my flower
I’m on my own
Turn your icy stare away
You’re freezing my sun
I’m all alone
Turn your will o’ the wisp temper away
You’re blowing down my house
I’m so afraid
Turn your back away
You’re blocking me out
I need you now
RANT
I’m so angry. Angry
I feel the press. The weight
The fabric of the taste
That cranks the light
That produces the glow
My X’ed arms shield
Help me be me.
Thirty minute waste
Pride grows old
Must preserve my soul
Ring my bell
Take the foul
Cry buckets of eyes
Look me in the face
And take my place
Throw me out
Wrench me free
Crack the whip and smack me three
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Turn it up
Tune it out
Close my eyes
Ooh the lights are down!
Underneath lies the distaste
For the sticky sweet
Let go of me
Web dangling
Let go of me
Web tangling
Let go of me
Red ice cakes my mouth
MOTHER
I saw her mortality reflected in my eyes
A visual aid of fear pinched my insides.
I realized I was going to die at 35
Cause of death: too much Pepsi and a little regret
The drone of the hourglass, remembered time
Dusty old clock ticked a deadened rhyme
Even though Mommy saved me
From Saltine crackers and dried out cactuses
She could never fix the broken tile
That still made me smile
Even after she sacrificed her life
All the while
Listen to me you little flea!
Copyright 2008 Sonya Tupone Lloyd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.
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